It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go of things that are gone
And you mourn for them.
One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of
who you are and build again'
Rachel Naomi Remen
Bereavement Counselling
Bereavement counselling offers a supportive and safe space where you'll be listened to, can express your feelings (whatever they might be) and talk freely about your loss. It gives you room to reflect, remember and mourn. There's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve or find your way after a death - how you do this will be unique to you. It'll be influenced and shaped by your personality and life history, your relationship with the person who died, your experiences and memories of them, the way in which they died and so on.
Working at a pace that's right for you, I'll invite you to tell the story of your shared history with the person who died, explore your feelings about their death and think about how that has impacted your life. We also pause and pay attention to how grief manifests for you - physically, cognitively, emotionally - as well as thinking about your beliefs about death. Talking and sifting through your memories, reflections and feelings, helps you begin to find calm, regain your balance and start to make sense of things.
The death of someone close who has harmed you can be particularly difficult to manage, with loss and grief taking on extra complexity on all levels. Some of the feelings that arise (on their own or simultaneously) may be: a sense of relief & joy at the death; anger that the words we wanted to say to them will never be heard; sadness that, for sure now, they'll never give us the love or attention we had always secretly hoped for (yet felt shame & anger at ourselves for wanting); grief for ourselves and the suffering endured; feeling frozen or numb because fear of the dead person remains present.
Bereavement counselling can help you find your anchor amidst the confusion of this storm.
It may be that a bereavement which occurred years ago is still affecting your life now, in this situation therapy offers a place to talk about and grieve an old loss when family members or friends may not wish or be able to remember with you. Some traumatic deaths, for example a suicide, may be difficult to talk about with family or friends and here therapy offers a compassionate, non-judgmental place where you will be listened to, encouraged to talk about your loss and can grieve and mourn.
My training & experience
I gained over five years clinical experience as a bereavement counsellor in an NHS Hospice and received additional training in this field. I'm particularly skilled and attuned to bereavement work, recognising and respecting that each person grieves in their own way and in their own time.
My experience includes working with people who have suffered traumatic bereavements such as a suicide, death of a child, sudden death or accident. I've also worked with those who are really struggling after a loss, sometimes years later, and who may feel isolated and 'stuck' in their grief, unable to move on.
Resources
Suggested reading
'You'll get over it : the rage of bereavement' by Virginia Ironside
'Staring at the sun' by Irvin Yalom
'The Year of Magical Thinking' by Joan Didion
'Silent Grief - Living in the wake of suicide' by Christopher Lukas and Henry M Seiden
Support groups
Survivors of bereavement by suicide (SOBS)
Support after suicide
Child bereavement UK
Bereavement Counselling in Holborn, Central London WC1
Bereavement Counsellor & psychotherapist in Central London.
